By: Clint Gould
The highly anticipated, tenth 80-Hour Marathon for Easter Seals, presented by Sandbox Gaming has now been replaced with a colossal Dungeons & Dragons campaign. This new stream features black silk-shirted Dungeon Master, Melanie Collins, Ashley Quirke as Lucina Danger; a Wood-Elf Druid who loves her family and rabbles incessantly when killing scripted enemies, Clint Gould as Alabreon Hammerhand; a Mount-Dwarf Paladin who sports a high charisma stat despite his quiet nature and awkward death throes, Ashley Power as Nemeia; a Tiefling Sorcerer who has a doctorate in Mage Hand Poopinomics, and Jess Harris as Anju Nalia; a High Elf Cleric who is wanted by the D&D Fashion Police.
This move comes as a surprise to many who submitted multiple games for Sandbox Gaming’s 80-Hour Marathon, which was originally set to be 30 games, but was changed to 25 games due to the influx of requests that would span 6 or more hours individually. It was a last-minute decision that was approved by stream producer and Vice President, Jeff Smyth, who believed it was the D&D streams that brought in a wide array of Twitch followers over the course of the last few campaigns. John Michael Bennett and Matt Cook, who were 2 of 3 marathon game selectors, along with Jeff, were taken aback by this sudden decision due to how much time they spent getting the selection down. Eventually they were okay with it, in order to avoid anarchy if it became an 80-hour Uni-racers marathon.
While various board members, committee members, and volunteers wondered what their roles would be as they invested so much time getting their game times perfected, only to find out there is no gaming marathon at all. Melanie came up with the idea of including various SBG members as Non-Playable Characters and even enemies. Of course, volunteering to be a bugbear would result in a 3-month stay at the Waterford Hospital to help cope with Smashley’s fiery indoor voice-y rage. Nourishment would not be an issue as Clint volunteered to bring strawberries from Costco, which would be enough to last the entire stream due to how large they are.
This strong Dungeons and Dragons team are hoping to reach a goal of $7500 raised for Easter Seals NL, but expect to reach it easily as long as Jess agrees to chip in $5 for every time she rolls a 1.
For any Sandbox Gaming members concerned about their games being cut—don’t worry, this is a satire—or at least, that’s what we are telling you for now.